Onwenu’s husband became envious of her growing popularity as a singer and started accusing her of giving her best to the outside world and not her family. But the straw that broke the camel’s back was the day her husband verbally abused her without provocation in the presence of her step-daughter-in-law, her staff and his, calling Onwenu all sorts of names.
Since Onyeka Onwenu’s unexpected death on Tuesday, July 30, following her performance at Chief Stella Okoli’s 80th birthday celebration, owner of Emzor Pharmaceuticals, a lot has been said and written about her. However, not much has been discussed regarding the numerous conflicts the legendary vocalist faced during her lifetime.
The “One Love” singer was always at the vanguard of the struggle for justice, regardless of whose ox was gored, from the day she emerged as a significant musician in the 1980s until the day she passed away.
However, Onwenu would admit that her real battle in the music circuit started after the duets she did with the King Sunny Ade, titled, “Choices” and “Waiting for Me.” The songs followed their early love song ,” Madawonloum” , which was about a couple who ignored all that was being said about them and their relationship.
As recounted in her memoir, “My Father’s Daughter”, Onwenu said, the release of the love song,” Madawonloum” made many believe that KSA and herself were involved in a love affair.
She further narrated: “ In 1989, KSA came calling again. This time, he requested that I write duets. This was a Johns Hopkins University and the United States Agency for International Development(USAID) project to increase awareness of family planning issues.
“We were to use music as an advocacy tool for the promotion of family planning and responsible sexual behaviour for the unmarried.
“On the back of this project, we recorded two songs, “Choices” and “Wait for Me.” Just as the songs gained more appeal, there was a second onslaught of wild rumours of King Sunny Ade and I in a sizzling relationship that had allegedly led to a secret love child, a daughter.
“The rumours were so pervasive that even the former Head of State, General Ibrahim Babangida asked me about the veracity though jokingly
“ I took it all in my stride at first. As an artist, I learnt to live by the reality of all publicity being good or bad. It seemed to me that putting out an official denial would fuel the rumours.
“However, I became angry when the gossip got to my four-year-old son. The driver of one of his school friends had told my son that KSA was his father.
“This was very upsetting to Abraham. When he came home that day from school with this disturbing story, I went straight to the mother of his friend, the employer of the said driver, hoping that she would reprimand him. But instead, she said ‘I have heard it too, and I had told the driver that even if it were true, he should not repeat it to anyone’.
“I immediately severed my relationship with the woman and all that came with her, to prevent any further damage to my son’s sense of well-being.
“I put out a statement through my publicist, debunking the rumours. I equally addressed the issue during interviews on radio and television. It seemed to quell the rumours for some time. However, I began to receive threatening telephone calls from some of KSA’s female fans. On the launch of the songs, “Choices and Waiting for Me”, at Sheraton Hotel, Ikeja, many had gathered to witness the official wedding of KSA and Onyeka Onwenu as rumoured. I daresay, they were disappointed as the launch brought me much relief.
The queen of songs also battled to clear her name from the mess she got into, after she was tricked by the Abacha junta to perform at the one million man march in Abuja, that didn’t go down well with the supporters of MKO Abiola’s June12 saga.
She narrated:” I want to tell the story of the One-Million-Man march in Abuja, and how I got involved in it. It had to do with the late Christy Essien-Igbokwe.
‘’The meeting was held at my office on Isaac John Street, GRA, Ikeja. Mrs Igbokwe, as PMAN President , spoke about the need to support the national soccer squad in the France ’98 World Cup competition. A fundraising event was taking place in Abuja and I had been invited to perform with my band alongside other artists. It made sense that I didn’t charge my normal fee, as this was a national call and a fundraising event. I agreed to be paid N900,000 which is about $5,000.
“I obliged out of conviction that whatever talent we had, was meant not just for one’s enjoyment, but for the common good as well. By agreeing to what appeared to be a noble national call.I had no idea that I had been hoodwinked and that the negative consequences of heeding that call would last for many years.I had no idea that I would be termed a traitor of the ‘June 12 cause’ even by people who knew the truth and the sincerity of my intentions.
“Just a week before the concert, I opened the dailies to find my name at the top of the list of artists who would perform at an event called, “One Million Man March’ in Abuja. Ostensibly, the event was to support the military Head of State who was said to have the intention of transforming into an elected president.
“To say I was enraged by this discovery would be an understatement. One of the problems that artists in Nigeria faced was the use of their names to promote events, even when they had neither been informed nor their approval obtained. I knew nothing about this event. I was only made aware of a fundraising event for the Nigerian national football team, the Super Eagles.
Unfortunately, after my performance at the vent, torrents of telephone calls began to pour in, complete with all manner of accusations and threats. The press keyed in, lambasting me as well. I was sure that my life was in danger. Some obscure student groups threatened to storm my office and set it on fire. Others said that they would give me the beating of my life, should they get a hold of me.
“They spread the rumour that I had collected millions of naira from Abacha’s government to support him and sing in his favour.’
“Knowing how I found myself in the programme, I was sure that I had done nothing wrong. I decided that I was not going to flee. All that was coming-harassment, the physical assault, and the loss of property -I had to face head-on.
Onwenu fought another battle to keep her marriage but later lost the same at the slightest provocation of her spouse.
Even though many believed that she never got married to any man, Onwenu’s memoir proved otherwise.
According to her, “My husband and I had an agreement from the onset of our relationship that our lives would remain private.”
“ That decision helped to shield our family from undue media exposure. This was so successful that many Nigerians had no idea that I had been married, let alone , separated or divorced. Many did not know that I had children. The media was filled with lies. Some said I had a girl and not two boys. I just let people speculate.
“It was not as though there was any secrecy surrounding my life. Those close enough had the right information, yet I did not feel the need to divulge the same to everyone else.
Narrating further, Onwenu said she married a man she fell in love with in 1984, and the marriage was blessed with two boys, Tijani and Ibrahim, who later changed his name to Abraham.
“I am, perhaps for the very first time, setting the records straight concerning my connubial relationship. Yes, I was married. I married a man I fell in love with in 1984. We had two children Tijani and Ibrahim. My husband is Yoruba and was a Muslim when we met.
“ At that time, I was already a well-known singer, songwriter and television journalist. My husband, therefore, knew that he was getting into associating with a famous woman.
“He was surprised that men were not lining up to see me or beating a path to my door. My life was simple, rich and private.