Evangeline comes in to get dressed and finds that the white collar of her dress is soiled. Without a thought, she takes one of her sister’s, puts it on, and slips out of the house. She knows her sister will be annoyed, but thinks she can wheedle her out of her resentment. It does not occur to her that she is ill-bred.
Every human person is a product of nature and nurture. There is no gainsaying that nature is good and perfect just as God willed it. In fact everything therein in nature, underscores the order that had preexisted in God and that he also set forth in creation. However, nurture has never been true to this order because the limited human had always been in charge ever since God commanded that she should care for all His creation. And this thing nurture, that is the act of tender care, nourishing etc. has never been the same for everyone. All of us are products of numerous environmental influences that had either contributed positively or negatively to our individual development. These excerpts from the book of manners will led us to the realization of the category we belong – whether ill-bred or well-mannered, and fair or unfair to others.
Can Dogs be nurtured to respect?
To be fit to associate with people anywhere, we all need to learn respect for the rights of others. This is one of the fundamental principles of etiquette. It is something which even the dogs may be taught – hogs never. Make “hands off” your rule where another’s property isconcerned, beginning with those nearest to you: Or if you mustborrow occasionally, borrow, don’t take.
Case study 1: Bob dashes into the house to get his tennis racket, but he does not find it in its place in the hall closet. He could take Dick’s and say to him lamely that evening, “You weren’t here, so I didn’t think you’d mind.” But he knows quite well that he would be furious if Dick walked off with his racket and took a chance on keeping him out of a game or on breaking a string. So Bob says to his waiting friends, “Go on to the court. I’ll come as soon as I can dig out my racket.”
Case Study 2: Evangeline comes in to get dressed and finds that the white collar of her dress is soiled. Without a thought, she takes one of her sister’s, puts it on, and slips out of the house. She knows her sister will be annoyed, but thinks she can wheedle her out of her resentment. It does not occur to her that she is ill-bred.
Learning to distinguish mine from thine
Some boys and girls have been unpopular as room-mates at college, because of the habit, formed at home, of making free with others’ possessions. Guard against taking advantage of your intimacy with anybody; never overlook the difference between mine and Thine. Of course, hygienic reasons alone should keep you from using another’s towel, washcloth, brush, comb or powder puff.
Learning to be fair to others
Another way of being unfair to those you live with is to leave your belongings in their way. The armchair in the living-room is not the place to leave your books or sweater. Why should you have your skates in the hall for someone to stumble over? Actually though you may not believe it some young people make a morning practice of dropping their night-clothe in a muddle on the floor and leaving them there for someone else to pick up! They belong to the same breed which, fortunately, is scarce as those who do not hang their towels neatly on the towel rack and leave their mark around the inside of the bathtub.
Prudence and Opennessmatter
Above all, prudence and openness matter. Prudence will warrant that we imbibe a quality of wisdom that is courteous, cautious and provisional to every situation we find ourselves. Without mincing words, no one is born with an inbuilt code of manners. Manners has always been what we learn and we have to keep learning with discretion and especially openness to new lessons of how to relate with others without rashness and unfair attitude. Even the ill-bred will not be less culpable nor vindicated; if having given many opportunities to learn good and unlearn bad habits yet persist with the advertisement of their ill-mannerism as a result of bad influences – this is never and should not be an escape route.
Culled from “This way, Please: A Book of Manners” by Eleanor Boykin