American presidents are like Asterix, Obelix, and that indomitable Gaulish village. The only thing they fear is the sky falling on their heads. And late-night TV show hosts. Ask Donald Trump.
The Republican leader – still chasing his first Nobel Peace Prize – was roasted on networks this week over “childish” behaviour at the G7 Summit in France. This was after Trump slid into a meeting of the world’s most powerful leaders with a bombastic “I’m the boss” quip.
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Bruce Springsteen might want to have a word after that; the singer famously denied Trump permission to use his anthem ‘Born in the USA’ in 2016 political campaigns, and one can’t imagine he will be too pleased at having his ‘boss’ moniker nicked off him in France.
In any case, after that Jimmy Kimmel – whom the president wittily labelled “one of the dumbest human beings ever” – was quick to pounce, remarking on Jimmy Kimmel Live! “They must hate him so much, right? Can you imagine the conversations that go on behind his back?”
“Trump’s behaviour at the G7 is increasingly childish…” he continued. “These other foreign leaders, I feel sorry for them, dealing with him. It’s like opening up a can of soda that got shaken up: you know it’s gonna spray (and) all you can really do is aim it away from your face.”
For many the moment brought back memories of the 2018 summit and ‘that’ photo… of an exasperated-looking Angela Merkel towering over a seated and mulish-looking Trump, with the disbelieving British, German, Japanese, and French heads of state looking on.
Angela Merkel and *that* photo of Donald Trump at the 2018 G7 summit (File)
Back to the present, though, and US late-night hosts also guffawed as Trump announced the Iran deal. “Congratulations to all,” he proclaimed on social media, the modern president’s preferred form of communication. “I hereby fully authorise the toll free opening of the Strait of Hormuz, and, simultaneously herewith, authorise the immediate removal of the US blockade…”
The ripostes were plentiful and merry, including from within his own party, but once again Kimmel took the plaudits. “Dagnabbit, we got Hormuzled!” he chuckled.
Trump’s peace deal has come in for a lot of shtick since it was announced, in large part because many feel it actually leaves the US worse off than before an enormously expensive war and, perhaps worse, hands Iran a readymade deterrent for the future – the Hormuz oil chokehold.
The US was right: Iran has a ‘nuke’ but it’s not what you think
The framework for what is supposed to be a permanent agreement includes at least two points of note. The first – that the Strait of Hormuz is to be re-opened. And the second – that economic sanctions, including those on crude oil, will be lifted.
“To recap: we killed the ayatollah and replaced him with a younger, more radical ayatollah. We did nothing for the protesters… We used up who knows how many billions of dollars on bombs and missiles. Many American and civilian lives were lost. We gave Iran full control of the Strait of Hormuz and we threw in a minimum of $300 billion… because why not?” Kimmel said.
Jimmy Kimmel and Donald Trump. Photo: Instagram
“Right now, Melania’s wondering, ‘How do I get a deal like that?'”
On NBC Seth Meyers was similarly unsparing. Responding to Trump saying the memorandum with Iran “should” re-open the Hormuz, he said: “It ‘should’? I know you haven’t released the deal but have you also not read it? It’s one page long. Are you waiting for the audiobook?”
A geography faux pas – that he could walk across the Qatar-Iran border when, in fact, the two countries are separated by the Persian Gulf – also invited needling. “Oh no, he thinks he is Jesus again,” Meyers groaned to AI images Trump shared previously – of himself as a god-like figure.
Trump even got picked on by his own party; outgoing Louisiana senator Bill Cassidy quipped “(Ronald) Reagan is rolling over in his grave” and called the Iran deal “the worst foreign policy blunder in decades”. Cassidy’s rant on X pointed out that Iran’s nuclear ambitions – the target, Trump told the world, of the war, remained untouched. Indeed, Tehran has even learned the Americans fear a weapon far greater than a nuke – a global energy crisis.
And most of the internet has combined to ribbing Trump for proclaiming ‘victory’ in a war to ‘re-open’ a shipping channel that was already open, and for imposing nuclear programme limits on a country that was already subject to stringent regulations regarding use of the technology.
Texas senator Ted Cruz – once a Trump man – remarked: “If the result is an Iran still run by Islamists who chant ‘death to America’ (and) now receiving billions of dollars… to develop nuclear weapons and having control over the Hormuz, then that would be a disastrous mistake.”
The president isn’t, of course, taking this lying down. Unless it’s afternoon nap time. In-between naps he rumbled to the press: “I think about one thing – we can’t let Iran have a nuclear weapon.”
Now all the US has to do is find that ‘wascally wabbit’ of a uranium stockpile.
Meanwhile, somewhere out there the president who started the war in Iran is still complaining about being denied the Nobel Peace Prize. “I did put out eight wars… eight and a quarter (because he’s precise, that way) … Thailand and Cambodia started again,” he grumbled.
