“Women have finished me,” my friend groaned. “Everything costs money. If you take a woman to dinner, you pay. If you buy her gifts, you pay. If you marry her, you pay school fees. If she has a birthday, you pay. If she is angry, you buy peace offerings. If she is happy, you celebrate with money. At this point, I might as well pay upfront and save everybody’s time.”
I laughed. “But that’s not love.”
He shrugged. “Who said I was looking for love?”
And there lies the beginning of today’s conversation. Why do men pay for sex?
The easy answer is that they want sex and they can afford the price tag. However, the truthful answer is far more complicated.
Because many men who pay for sex can actually get sex without paying for it.
Some are handsome.
Some are rich. Some are married. Some have steady girlfriends.
Yet every day, across the world, millions of men willingly hand over money for what many people insist should be free.
Why?
Let us open that cupboard carefully because some interesting skeletons will definitely fall out.
Let’s start with the convenience angle.
Human beings love convenience.
We order food or opt for mama-put because cooking takes effort.
We use user or bolt services or even employ personal drivers because driving ourselves can be stressful.
We pay for laundry because washing clothes can be tedious.
Some men view paid sex through exactly the same lens. No emotional investment. No long conversations. No endless texting. No “where is this relationship going or when are you meeting my parents?”
No meeting cousins, siblings, neighbours, church members and village elders.
Just a simple, clean, predictable, one-off transaction. No long thing.
Or so they think.
To such men, paying appears cheaper than investing time, emotions and commitment. What do they know? Life has a way of sending invoices later.
Then there is the fear of rejection.
Paid sex is a lifesaver for men who are terrified of rejection. In a society where men are not supposed to cry, some men would rather part with money than risk hearing a woman say: “No.”
Others fear embarrassment. Imagine spending three months pursuing someone only to be friend-zoned. I doff my hat for men, really. I don’t know how they do it.
For those shy men, paying becomes a shortcut around uncertainty. Money removes the possibility of rejection, even if it is temporarily. It buys guaranteed attention. And in a world where many men secretly struggle with self-esteem, that guarantee can be very attractive.
Some men are desperately lonely.
This one may surprise many women.
Some men are desperately lonely. Not sexually lonely. Emotionally lonely.
A lot of men have nobody to talk to, confide in, lean on.
They have nobody to tell them they matter.
More details here...
