El Niño has surprisingly been a big blessing to me.
Apart from the fact that clothes now dry very quickly, it also introduced me to my latest hobby. Scratch that, my latest obsession.
Before, I never liked any of my neighbours. We never spoke to each other, save the occasional murmured greetings.
The most unbearable one of them all always played tribal songs on full blast. The worst part was that his room window was just opposite mine.
For that singular reason, I always left that window shut. It meant buying more fuel if I didn’t want to die of heat, but it was worth it.
After a while, the noise stopped, but I was already too used to my AC. The window remained shut. Until the hike in fuel prices.
I tried to shoulder the bills for a while, but it wasn’t sustainable. So when El Niño started, I knew there was no way I could continue.
One fateful Sunday night, I was almost drowning in my own sweat when I decided enough was enough.
So with angry strides, I marched to the window and threw it open. And that was when it started.
In the place of my annoying neighbour was a very beautiful woman. It wasn’t her straight nose or little lips that drew me to that conclusion. It was the perky breasts that greeted me.
She was dressed in nothing but her own skin; very fair, spotless skin. She was on a call and I could hear everything, thanks to the inability of most people to turn on their generators (could the failing economy be a blessing disguise?).
She was talking to a lady on the phone, complaining about how tiring the new week was going to be. I sat in the darkness of my room, listening attentively.
I learned a lot about my new neighbour. Her name was Tejiri. Her friend called her Riri Mama and it made her laugh every time. She sounded like a baby, if I hadn’t already seen her massive ass, I would have thought she was merely a teenager.
As I lay in bed that night, I had already mastered the pattern of her stretch marks. As I closed my eyes, all I could see was the curve of her hips.
When I woke up the following day, and every day that followed, I had a very painful boner.
Riri Mama gave me a new purpose, a new reason to be vigorous. Every day, I worked very hard to finish my tasks in record time. Work I would usually take home, I completed at the office.
My line manager commended me, telling me I should keep doing whatever was making me so dedicated to work. Boy, did I intend to continue.
Every day, I left work at exactly 5pm because I had learned from Tejiri’s calls that she closed by 5pm but got home by 7pm.
My house is only 15 minutes away, so I had ample time to eat, shower, and wait till my new obsession got home.
By the time she was opening her windows, I was already tucked away in a strategic corner of my room; hidden from the world, but in the front-row seat for my favorite show.
I had mastered her routine. After opening her window, she’d set her sippy cup down on her work desk, just beside her bag. Then her shoes and wig came off in no particular order.
Then she’d struggle with her zipper, and I’d wish I could offer to help, mostly because I needed to see if she’d feel half the things she made me feel if I touched her shoulders.
When there was light, she’d quickly put the take out she brought home in the microwave. If there wasn’t, she’d put it in a pot and heat it up.
The latter was my preferred method because the thin layer of sweat always added to the allure.
My favorite part didn’t start until she was out of the shower in her large bonnet concealing her all-back hairstyle, and a towel wrapped loosely around her body.
That was the point at which I got comfortable because, at any moment, the piece of art would come on full display. Then I reached for my bottle of baby oil and my pack of wipes.
On one particular day, she got home later than usual. Her routine was a bit messed up.
She dropped her cup on her bed, her wig didn’t come off at all. She just wrapped it and secured it in place with a claw clip.
There was no food to eat, and she didn’t look like she was going to take a shower. Did she have some work to conclude?
She got completely naked and started rummaging through her bag. She pulled out her laptop, so I assumed I was right.