Nigerian singer Tems has shared details about a past relationship that she describes as toxic, marked by her partner’s obsession and possessiveness.
The Essence crooner explained that the relationship did not match her idea of love, which she believes should be about equality and partnership rather than control or ownership.
In an interview with media host Angie Martinez, Tems revealed that toxic relationships can be exhausting, especially when the controlling partner does not even realize their behavior is harmful.
The 30-year-old reflected on her own experience, saying that what she once thought was love was really about someone trying to dominate and possess her.
Tems pointed out that love is not about obsession or owning another person.
Instead, she said true love involves unity and mutual respect, where both people see themselves as equals rather than as possessions.
The songstress also noted that many people encounter toxic love without realizing it, because the other person may claim to love them while actually acting out of a desire to control.
She said: “I have experienced love where I thought it was love but it was more like when someone is trying to own you. They think that they own you. And that’s not love.
“Love is not obsession. And it is not possession. I can’t own another human being. Love is when both of you become one person.
“We don’t own each other, we are each other. I feel everyone has experienced toxic love with someone who doesn’t even know that they are toxic.
“They say they love you but they don’t know that they don’t even love you. Because you can’t love someone you feel you own.”
